Normalizing Disagreement: Q&A With Dereca Blackmon

Stories From the Field

Normalizing Disagreement: Q&A With Dereca Blackmon

Dereca Blackmon is the associate dean and director of Stanford University’s Diversity and First-Gen Office, which partnered with SPARQ to create the Beyond the Line toolkit.  She has more than 25 years of experience supporting communities in radical healing. She discusses the importance of getting comfortable with discomfort, people’s reactions to Beyond the Line, and why she sometimes calls the toolkit “Beyond Blame and Shame.”

SPARQ: What inspired you to create the Beyond the Line toolkit?

Blackmon: I’m a queer Black woman from a low-income background. I’ve personally had a lot of challenging conversations with some challenging people. What I firmly believe is that people can agree to disagree and that people fervently want to talk about hard topics, but they’re afraid to do so. I can’t blame them. Conversations today are getting so contentious. Race, gender, sexual orientation — topics like these get many people very fired up. It gets compounded by how quickly ideas about identity are evolving — like the terms “non-binary” or “genderqueer” to describe gender, for example. It can be hard to keep up and it can be confusing. People need specific strategies to help them deal with the challenge. They need a way to say, “I don’t get it” or “I don’t agree” without fear of reprisal. Beyond the Line provides a rules-bound structure for conversations like that. It lets people talk about hard things in a safe way. And going back to my college days, I had a seminal moment in a class when we held a Fishbowl Discussion. It got me believing that you could create conversational structures that would make people feel okay talking about hard topics. It inspired me to become a training designer.

SPARQ: How do people react to going through Beyond the Line?

Blackmon: They’re surprised by how quickly you can create dialog across different groups when you set the expectation that there is going to be difference. Beyond the Line leans into the difference rather than leaning away from it. This makes it successful. Most people try to find sameness and they think sameness will be a connection. My goal is to normalize disagreements so we become more comfortable when we disagree. With that being the goal, people find disagreement is healthy. It’s okay — and it’s not the same as disrespect. I sometimes call the workshop “Beyond Blame and Shame.” It’s about stopping blaming, stopping shaming, and just listening and seeing our differences and being okay with them.

SPARQ: Who can benefit most from this toolkit?

Blackmon:  I’ve used it in K-12, nonprofits, corporate settings, universities, religious settings, retreats, and other environments. Any group where there’s any disagreement or  misunderstanding — or even just a lack of information — can benefit from Beyond the Line, as long as it’s a sizable group. It’s harder to do with smaller groups.

SPARQ: What is the most difficult aspect of using the toolkits?

Blackmon: Getting people who haven’t experienced it to agree to do it. People are very skeptical that you can talk about difficult topics without it creating chaos or resentment. Many people don’t believe the workshop will be productive. Or they avoid choosing topics that are honestly difficult. Sometimes they don’t allow the necessary amount of time for the activities. And it can be very hard to find facilitators who can be comfortable with the inevitable discomfort that rises in the room, because if you’re choosing the right topics, it’s going to be uncomfortable. Calm and open-minded facilitators who consistently enforce the conversation norms are key to the toolkit’s success. That’s why we have the Are You Ready to Talk? toolkit. It helps people prepare for these difficult conversations.

SPARQ: How does this toolkit differ from Are You Ready to Talk? and Fishbowl Discussions, which also explore identity?

Blackmon:  I see them as a continuum. Are You Ready to Talk? is the first step in preparing yourself as a facilitator. It’s mostly about you as an individual. Beyond the Line is a good second step. It gets people introduced to the most basic ideas of disagreement, and gets them comfortable with that. You can use it to help groups talk about just about anything. Fishbowl Discussions is a more intensive look at difference, and it’s highly tailored to identity.

SPARQ: What do you hope people take away from Beyond the Line?

Blackmon: Beyond the Line is about celebrating open-mindedness. It’s about giving people hope that we can disagree and still be a community together.